1. Plan in Advance. Work out where your children will be during the holiday season, and where, when and how exchanges will take place. Your children will feel secure knowing the plan ahead of time, and you will experience less frustration if you are not figuring out the details last minute. These free tools can help:
· Google Calendar. Google calendar links all calendars on one easy-to-access calendar, which can send you pop up alerts and reminders. The calendar can also be shared with anyone involved in caring for your child.
· Cozi: This app has calendars, grocery lists and to-do lists to help you stay organized.
2. Remember the true meaning of the holidays: love and spending time with family. Which means it’s ok if you have to celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza etc. with your children on a day different than what you’d normally celebrate it. Don’t get hung up on the date, and instead focus the celebration when you are with your kids! Ten years from now, your kids won’t remember what date they opened presents with you in 2018. But they will remember if the time spent with you was joyful, and the annual traditions you established.
3. Don’t try to compete financially with your spouse. Especially if your finances are tight while you adjust to a division of assets and the added costs of divorce. Instead, focus on providing your children with new family traditions or experiences. It doesn’t have to cost a lot. Inexpensive experiences:
· Look online to obtain a map of the best-decorated houses in your area. Then pack hot chocolate and snacks for the car, throw on your favorite holiday tunes and enjoy!
· Bake holiday treats and deliver them to your neighbors or nearby retirement community.
· Have a holiday movie night. Your favorite holiday movies can be rented online or borrowed from your nearby library. Drag a bunch of pillows and blankets to your living room for a cozy spot to watch, pop some popcorn and snuggle up!
4. Banish Loneliness. The holidays can be lonely if you are spending them alone, especially if your kids will be with the other parent during that time. Don’t be afraid to reach out to family or friends and ask to join their celebrations! Or, if you’re afraid of crashing their party, make one of your own and throw your own holiday dinner, inviting others who don’t have somewhere to celebrate. It’s also a great time of year to volunteer at your local shelter, hospital or retirement home. Don’t forget the option of picking up an extra shift at work, starting a new hobby or joining a divorce support group. In short, if you find yourself lonely at home, you have other options!
5. Get professional help. If there’s an area of your divorce which is especially stressing you out, talk to the professionals in your life for help. Maybe your lawyer, therapist or financial planner has just the right solution for you. If you haven’t started the divorce process yet, and are stressing about it; look into collaborative divorce to see if it’s the right fit for you. You can start by looking at this chart to compare the difference between traditional litigation and collaborative practice: https://tinyurl.com/collaborative-v-litigation. Or contact McGill Law, P.C., L.L.O. today at 402-548-5418 to make an appointment to talk about your options.