Welcome guest article contributor and friend of McGill Law, Paige Dempsey of Paige Dempsey Coaching!
Paige has been a partner and advocate of our firm for years. Paige is a Certified Life Coach with an advanced certification in feminist coaching whose mission is to help women have better dating experiences leading to better relationships. McGill Law understands how important healthy relationships are to healthy, happy people and we are honored that Paige agreed to share her wisdom with us. We hope you enjoy Paige’s insight as much as we do!
Listen to me! This is the number one thing you need to stop doing in dating relationships:
Stop trying to start at the top of the mountain!
Do you remember the game show the Price is Right? They used to have a game that involved a mechanical climber working its way up a mountain as contestants guessed the cost of an item. If it moved up too far, it would go over the cliff. It's called the 'Cliffhanger' game.
I can still hear the music... (“doh doo doo dee doh”)
I think of this little climber man often as it relates to relationships!
Why?
Because everybody seems to want to start at the top of the mountain!
How often do you meet someone and within days or weeks are thinking "He's perfect!" "He's amazing!" "We really hit it off!" "He could be the one!"
The One?!? THE ONE?!?!
It's too soon to tell, sis.
You're starting at the top of the mountain.
And when you start at the top of the mountain, the only way to go is...
... down.
I so often see women make this mistake, over and over again: there's a quick rush to think someone is ah-mazing and then subsequent disappointment when you work your way back down the mountain to find all the things you missed along the way.
When someone is climbing Mount Everest, they have to stop at basecamps along the way to adjust to the altitude.
When you are dating someone, you need to have basecamps along the way to adjust as well. You need to see someone on their good days and bad days. How they show up when things get challenging. If they are consistent, trustworthy, a good communicator, etc. If you start at the top, you'll often end up disappointed when people don't live up to your expectations (and are not the person you believed them to be).
If you just go to the summit and think the view is amazing, you'll have missed all of the growing it took along the way to get there. You'll miss actually getting to know the person in front of you - which is actually a very important part of dating!
You need to start at the bottom, at the beginning, and brace yourself for the climb. You need to stop at the rest areas, prepare for inclement weather, and have snacks on hand for when either of you get 'hangry.'
Take your time.
Start at the beginning.
Take it one foot, or 1,000 feet, of elevation at a time.
Don't go over the cliff!
I love talking about dating and relationships and would love to help you have a better experience doing it. I can help you reduce anxiety and show up confidently to find relationship that is right for you, one step at a time. Contact me for more info!
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