Recently, I attended the first module of my year-long collaborative leadership training. I was feeling quite a mixture of emotions: excitement, anxiety and fear. As we went around the room and shared our stories of what leadership meant to us, it became evident that I was surrounded by some pretty amazing individuals who, in my eyes, were already well-accomplished leaders. How in the world was I chosen to be there?
One of my teachers shared that when she was 14 years old, she marched with Dr. Martin Luther King! And then there is my new friend on the East coast who, at the age of just 35, owns a law firm with 10 attorneys and practices primarily in the area of domestic violence. Or perhaps it’s my Canadian friend who is equally amazing. A typical day for her consists of teaching classes at the local university, running her own law practice and managing her family of 13 (that’s right …. she has eleven children.)
I am astonished by how close and quickly bonded I became with most everyone in my class. For three days we shared stories about frustrations in our practice and the challenges we face in our lives and how they were likely shaped by our upbringings. Our instructors challenged us by asking what steps we can all begin to take in order to make some real changes. This meant we had to be vulnerable. And we were. That is most often the hardest thing to be, but I am beginning to understand the value in being vulnerable in order to experience real growth and change.
I was asked to reflect on those three days of training & share what I learned. I’ve attempted to summarize some of my thoughts below. Perhaps most profound, is the realization that I need to be more introspective. Instead of trying to mirror the behavior of those whom I respect as leaders, I am now looking within & challenging myself to nurture what may already exist. The reality is: each and every one of us is a leader. We have all done our own “marches” and in our own unique ways, we continue to march. Maybe some of these ideas will help you with your own “march” to leadership:
Let your life be your message to others
Whether it’s positive or negative, your family, friends and colleagues are learning from your actions. So, choose what kind of message you want to send. Try to turn away from pessimism, apathy and defeatism. Choose positivity. You are the leader of your own behavior and that behavior, however small it might seem, is impacting someone. Decide today -do you want to be the light or the dark for others?
Be brave
It’s not easy. In fact, you have to be vulnerable & show humanness to attain braveness. I think you have to teach yourself to be bold. It will only come with practice – like everything else. Be the one who volunteers to read aloud when the words are complex. Be the one who dances with the instructor even though you don’t know the steps. Be the one who shouts out loud when everyone else has been silenced. Life will unfold in countless beautiful ways if you dare to let it.
Find goodness in everyone
There is a lot of ugly in the world. Turn on the world news any given evening and you will hear about it. But the hate and ugliness do not have to be our focus. In fact, everyone has value to bring. It is unfortunate that all too often we define people by their actions, good or bad. We are all worthy of honor & respect. Every one of us will fall at some point. Give grace to those who fall and recognize you might be the next one in the trenches.
Be a rebel and question everything
I laugh as I write this. My classmates labeled me the rebel of our group, yet I have never thought of myself as such. If we just accept what is by maintaining status quo, there may never be any real change. I’ve decided I’m done saying “it is what it is” because it does not have to be. Don’t be afraid to be the one who says “let’s try it this way” because that way just might be the change that is needed.
Integrity should be at the center of… everything
If you have integrity, you will build credibility with colleagues, clients and other professionals. This trust is needed to inspire others and raise the overall culture. When a group has a solid foundation of trust and the utmost integrity then goals are more likely to be met which means success for everyone.
Learn from mentors, teachers & coaches
Don’t be afraid to not have the answer. In fact, those who admit they don’t know are the ones who will experience the most growth and enrichment. Many of my classmates in the leadership academy have greater experience than me. However, I chose not to be intimidated. Rather, I am awed and inspired by the wisdom they impart. It is from them that I am gaining the most knowledge.
Always show compassion for others
At the crux of it all, we are all human. No matter how young, old, smart, ignorant, small, tall, black, brown or white, every one of us deserves dignity, respect & compassion. If we all practiced this most basic mantra, can you imagine the world we would live in? Call someone out who shows no mercy. Be the one who shows kindness. It’s infectious. Exhibiting compassion for others will enable you to undoubtedly be a better leader of YOU and likely someone who others choose to follow.