At McGill Law, we’ve had the privilege of working alongside Lori Zoucha, LIMHP, LPC for many years. Lori’s compassionate, practical approach has supported numerous clients through the emotional challenges of divorce and the complex transitions that follow. Her ability to blend clinical expertise with genuine empathy has made her a trusted resource for those seeking clarity, healing, and confidence in their next chapter. We’re honored to share her insights on a topic that resonates deeply with many of the parents we serve.
This decision did not come easily. Perhaps it’s one you’ve been agonizing over for years - the endless loop of questions that keep you up at night: Can I afford this? Will I be able to support myself and the kids? How will they be affected? How will we co-parent? How will we each feel when the other finds someone new? And then the guilt sets in.
Mom guilt shows up in many situations, especially when we feel like we must do everything perfectly. But the truth is, your kids don’t need a perfect mom. In fact, research shows it’s actually good for children to see us being human, making mistakes, and navigating difficult times. That’s how they learn to do the same.
Divorce doesn’t come with perfect solutions or clear outcomes. It can feel chaotic and overwhelming, which opens the door for mom guilt. Guilt can give us the false sense that we’re in control - if we just did things differently, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard. But that’s not reality.
You are going to grieve. Even if you’re the one who initiated the divorce, you still deserve space to grieve the life you had planned and the family you envisioned. You absolutely have permission to mourn what’s changing.
During this difficult time, lean on your support system and allow others to help. Don’t be afraid to ask for the support you need. Therapy - for you and/or your children - can be incredibly helpful. Psychology Today is a great place to start when looking for local clinicians, or you can ask your attorney for a referral. Many attorneys network with therapists and can guide you to someone who specializes in this area.
Engage in a solid self-care routine. This doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive—it can be as simple as taking a daily walk or committing to getting 7–9 hours of sleep each night. Self-care is not selfish. You can’t pour into your children from an empty cup. In fact, you’re modeling healthy habits when you prioritize your own well-being. The best gift you can give your kids during this tough time is a healthy, well-adjusted mom.
Maintain structure and boundaries with your children. Now is not the time to let go of routines. Even though they may push back, kids crave boundaries—they help them feel safe and secure.
Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your children. Kids internalize part of their identity from each parent, so criticizing your ex can feel like a personal attack to them. Make a commitment to share only age-appropriate information and avoid using your children as a sounding board for your frustrations. This places an unfair emotional burden on them and can cause long-term harm.
Finally, you do not owe anyone an explanation for why your marriage ended. It’s not everyone's business. Share what you choose with the people in your support system and let go of the need to justify your decision. You have enough to manage - don’t carry that, too. And remember, just because your marriage ended, that does not mean you are a failure.
Divorce is never easy. My hope is that you’re getting the support you need - and that you’re taking care of you.
Frequently Asked Questions about Mom Guilt and Divorce
To learn more or connect with Lori Zoucha:
Phone: (402) 639-0569
Email: therapistloriz@gmail.com
Website: www.lorizouchatherapy.com
Office Location: 11840 Nicholas St, Suite 101, Omaha, NE 68154