The summer months can be a wonderful time to spend quality time with your children. With some pre-planning and scheduling, it can still be enjoyable even when co-parenting with a former partner. Here are some tips for avoiding stress and anxiety that you could potentially face if you do not have a well-planned summer break.
First, consider having a different summer parenting time schedule during the summer weeks. For instance, if you practice a 2-2-3 schedule during the school year, you have more exchanges. During the summer, it might be beneficial to implement a week on/week off rotation with less transitions. This schedule allows you to take a full week of vacation without interruption to you, your co-parent, and the children. It also allows the children to attend events, camps, summer school or activities uninterrupted. An added benefit is that you and your co-parent can share in choosing camps and activities – if you know you have parenting time during weeks 1, 3, 5 and 7 then you can choose the camps you want your children to attend during those weeks and your co-parent can choose activities for weeks 2, 4, 6 and 8.
Having helpful information in your vacation protocol may further minimize stress. In most states, it is required that you have a set number of vacation days & a notification requirement. However, consider having additional elements to avoid conflict. Maybe you would like a unique communication protocol with your vacationing children when they are out of town with your co-parent? If so, a daily window of time when a non-vacationing parent can talk to a vacationing child can be very helpful. Further, if a 6 pm – 7 pm daily window will not work on any given day, be sure to have a Plan B where a timely text is made between parents to set an alternate time for communication. Also, be sure to include the specific information you and your co-parent may want to exchange regarding vacations. For instance, does it matter to you what travelers are accompanying your child? Do you want a travel itinerary that includes flight information as well as a venue upon reaching a destination? If a trip involves international travel, it might be wise to give written consent to the traveling parent to avoid delays with immigration services. And speaking of international travel, be sure you have a passport plan specifying that both parents will cooperate with applications and renewals, which parent will be the custodian of the passport and what sharing looks like upon parental request. Lastly, do you and your co-parent like to vacation at the same time of year? If so, consider establishing priority status on a rotating basis. Maybe you choose your dates first in even numbered years and the other parent chooses dates in odd numbered years. If either of you fail to choose by a set date, you lose your priority status which then defaults to the other parent.
The cost of having your children home from school can present a challenge. Although you will not have school lunch fees, you may now have increased grocery bills, activity fees, childcare costs, summer camp expenses. Talk with your co-parent (well before the onset of summer) to come to an agreement on how increased costs will be equitably divided and shared. It is even better if you can have this cost sharing outlined in your court order so there is less likelihood of any future conflict.
Finally, always try to be flexible and extend grace to your co-parent. Be accommodating if there is a need to change the schedule. Afterall, life is unpredictable, and things go wrong. Your child might get ill which requires changes to work schedules, vacation plans, parenting schedules. These last-minute adjustments require open communication allowing for adjustments. Your children will be much happier if they can observe their parents collaborating to find workable solutions.
You should be able to look forward to the summer break as a time to spend extra time with your children. Take the time to plan and organize with your co-parent. If you find you need some guidance, we have your back at McGill Law. Our experienced team in the Omaha and Lincoln communities is happy to help with all family law questions to ensure you, your co-parent and children experience a fun and safe summer break. Give us a call today.